Keeping Up with the TikTokers

One of the great enemies of sitting still is the inclination to try too hard to keep up. I don’t think this is a struggle for everyone, per se, but if you’re somewhere between a 6 and an 8 on the Enneagram scale, you might just feel me more than the rest of ’em do.

When TikTok first came onto the scene, I swore I was too old for it. I was pretentious about it, too. It was just sooo Gen-Z, and I’m a millennial! (It’s nobody’s business that I only barely made the cut.) I held out for a couple of years, but one thing about me is that if there’s a good time to be had, I’m not about to miss it. So, I downloaded the app.

Every now and then, I’d like a funny video. I’d follow a stylish creator from time to time. Generally speaking, I’m not much of a video watcher.¹ I wasn’t in any real danger of getting hooked. So, I’m sure you can imagine my surprise when I hit an algorithmic flow state at 2 a.m., only to later realize I couldn’t recall a single thing I had just consumed on this God-forsaken teenybopper app.

But these videos haven’t just changed how I spend my time. The words I say, the ways I style myself, the information I share with my friends—all of it once felt like it was curated for me. Now, it feels an awful lot like I’m being made to fit a demographic. And, boy, do I hate to fit a demographic.

Would I wear these silly barrel jeans if I hadn’t seen those more daring midsize girlies do it on my FYP first? Probably not. Would I keep sporting winged eyeliner if I hadn’t adopted the clean girl aesthetic that’s been out to get me for years now? Unlikely. Would I still have my Hailey Bieber lip gloss-holder phone case if the first 15 seconds of GO BABY hadn’t been a trending sound? Absolutely.²

Sitting still means considering this reality—and how embarrassing I find it all to be. What do I actually like apart from how I’d like to be perceived? And how am I supposed to take up space in a way that is honest and true to whoever it is I’m supposed to be today? Or, even more existentially, who I was created to be?

My go-to reminder to myself is that my favorite people live sustainably. They trust in their own sense of style without having to be told what to buy next. It doesn’t matter if their shoes aren’t on trend anymore because nothing says timeless like wearing what you already have. They’re not falling for your “run, don’t walk” propaganda because they’ve got lives to live and places to be. The coolest girls we know are okay with letting the hamster wheel of materialistic consumption spin on without them this time. 😌

Someone who’s really good at this is my friend Alli. We only lived together for a few months back in 2024, but I learned a lot from her in that time. When her closet starts feeling a little less than inspired, she hosts clothing swaps with the girlies. When her cupboards start feeling too cramped, she offers up coffee mugs to her Instagram followers. She keeps what she likes and gets rid of what she doesn’t. Her apartment sparks joy because of it. I try to harness her energy and overall outlook when I’m feeling unimpressed or unappreciative of the stuff I already have.

In middle school, I’d sometimes wear outfits from Goodwill or eBay. And I remember being terrified that someone would ask me where I got it from. If only 12-year-old me knew that in East Nashville in 2026 thrifting would somehow become all the rage. Oh, how the turn tables.³

Trends, by nature, are subject to change. We don’t know which ones future generations will ironically embrace—or which ones will be forever immortalized during a 2020s Tacky Day fifty years from now. My hope and prayer is that 80-year-old me will be lowkey unhip and highkey unbothered.

Living up to the ever-shifting social expectations of the masses has never been a marker of the good life. God doesn’t wish I were cooler or trendier or more nonchalant. Sitting still means not being such a tryhard. It means being present in whatever room I’m already in, wearing whatever clothes I already own, investing in literally anything apart from my own ego. I’ve given up on trying to keep up with the TikTokers.

As it turns out, maybe the faithful stewardship of our time, attention, and money is actually worth paying attention to. Maybe being a lil out of touch is a good thing. You’re formally invited to join me as I brick my phone and go touch some grass. The fear of missing out is way less scary when we honestly don’t know what’s going on anyway.

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¹ My toxic trait is that I’m 2x-speeding every video I have ever watched and/or received. I simply cannot sit still for all that.

² It was truly such a fun gift given to me by my sister-in-law Ciara. 🤩 I never would’ve bought it for myself, but I love it so much, and it is such a funny conversation starter hehe

³ “ … –Michael Scott” –Sarah Caskey Stayton